What is Success? 

Trying to pursue a tennis career in London was not an easy task as the city is unideal for tennis players trying to train at a high level due to a lack of resources, necessities, limited facilities, quality coaches and local tournaments. By the time I got to high school it became even more difficult to find high level players to train with or an experienced coach, I was lucky if I could play 2-4 hours a week. As a result, the majority of my game is self-taught, taking bits of knowledge I've seen or heard from others and applying it to how I would play.

Leading up to the age of 13 I had a very successful career being a top ranked player in Ontario and Canada. I was constantly told by other player’s coaches and parents that I had endless potential and unmeasurable talent, my future was looking brighter than ever.

 

However, from then on my tennis career started to take a different direction. My family had started to run into financial problems that affected the remaining 4 years of my junior career. I went from playing an average of 20 tournaments a year to about 6, I was only competing at bigger tournaments such as provincials and nationalsThis is where I began to struggle with my confidence and mentality. I felt like I had to do my absolute best in those tournaments to be recognized, I felt I could not lose as if it was a life or death situation. Putting that kind of pressure on yourself and having that mentality is not going to turn out well and that is exactly what happened. I got so nervous every single match that I felt like I didn't know how to play which resulted in my anger getting the best of me. "I don’t want to lose; I can't lose this" ran through my head every single match. I was so angry with myself because I never felt so low about my abilities.

 

With my anger and frustration growing my dad decided it would be in my best interest to hang up my tennis racquet forever at age 15. A crucial point in time for college recruiting. Being a know it all teenager, I thought he was just bluffing. He definitely wasn’t. I had never felt so lost and empty inside then I did at that moment. My whole life had been tennis, the most important thing I had worked 10 years for was taken away in a matter of seconds. I tried to escape the feelings with a different sport. I began to play competitive volley which was always the sport I would've chosen to play if it wasn't for tennis but something about it wasn't enjoyable. I felt like I needed to get back to playing tennis as soon as possible. 

 

After almost 2 years of convincing my dad that I had matured and was truly ready to play again, he signed me up for my first tournament. I was now going into my senior year of high school with no results in the past 2 years to show college coaches. It was a provincial tournament where I was playing doubles with my sister who was being recruited by Baylor University and the coach was going to be there watching. I knew I had to make a memorable impact and play my heart out despite having a torn ligament in my back. My sister and I ended up winning the tournament and I was expecting nothing but positive comments from the coach in hopes I would end up there. What I got was quite the opposite. 

 

He told my parents that I was a good player but should be considering D2 or D3 institutes. Once again, I felt completely lost even though I had a great final year in my junior career I didn't have nearly enough results as other girls due did and had not played any professional tournaments which did not look good. I e-mailed almost every D1 school in the United States with few to none replying. It was May of my senior year with graduation being less than a month away. After countless nights crying and numerous thoughts about giving up I decided to give it one last go. That is when in June of 2013 I signed with Iowa State University a D1 institute in one of the best conferences in college tennis. 

Throughout my 4 years at Iowa State I grew not only as a person but as a tennis player. I began playing at the #2 position and #1 spot in doubles, the remaining 3 years I played consistently in the #1 position for both. However, It was not at all how I imagined it to be, I finally had a stable coach and would be playing against the top girls in the country. However, the coaching, atmosphere and schedule was not what I imagined with constant struggles. Once again I began to contemplate if the sport was for me or not, I was beating some great girls but was still lacking in confidence. I decided to make the most of an unpleasant situation and set goals for myself. I put in over 5 hours of extra individual practices and workouts on top of an already heavy 20 hour week. Iowa State didn't have the strongest tennis team in fact we were the one of the worst in our conference. 

 

I worked hard every single day in and day out to leave my mark at Iowa State by my senior year I had built so much mental toughness and strength that I had a breakout year. I became the first tennis player at my school to earn a national ranking in the top 100. I had beat girls that have been ranked as high as #5 in the country and marked my name in the history books in 5 different categories as one of the best tennis players in Iowa State history. 

Though going to college was not the route I initially wanted to take and would have much rather went straight to playing professional, it was not a option giving my financial circumstances and other series of events. Having said that, I'm glad I did, it has made me even stronger and I could find myself and fix the biggest aspect that had been holding me back, my mentality. My dream of becoming a professional tennis player is still alive and have never felt more confident about myself and my abilities through the journey I've had. There is nothing more I love then proving people wrong, those who say I can't only motivate me to work harder and achieve my goals.